The Lancer Fanfiction Archive

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Winj

 

Rain

 

 

 

It was raining. Sometimes that was okay but not today. For some reason, today it made him feel sad. He watched the downpour from his bedroom window. The splatter of the huge drops on the mud below made an odd heavy sound. Above, the pounding on the adobe roof was at least more pleasant. It was one of those rains that you just knew would last all day. Persistent, unyielding rain.

He pressed his forehead to the cool glass. Yep, it was a cold rain. He knew it was. It was late March, spring just beginning. Maybe it was the long winter that had him feeling out of sorts. He didn't know, didn't feel like trying to figure it out. It was just how he felt, period.

A kind of empty feeling and sad. Like the weather, cold and damp. And like the weather, it would last all day. The thought of going out in that mess and working was almost more than he could bear. He thought about just staying home. To hell with it. To hell with what he said about it. But getting hell wasn't what he felt like listening to either.

He heard footsteps in the hall. His brother. Nothing much seemed to bother him. He never seemed sad when it rained. He just smiled and went on. He let out a heavy breath. He felt so tired, drained of any energy. He wanted to crawl back in bed and stay there until it stopped raining.

Rain. Funny sounding word. He wondered who thought it up and why they named it rain. He liked the word spelled differently. Rein. The reins of a horse or a wagon. That was alright. And reign, like a king. That was okay, too. But not this kind. Nope, this kind was ..... he couldn't think of a really good word for it right now.

He was putting it off, he knew. Soon, someone would come knocking. Wondering what was taking so long. Asking was he going to sleep the day away. His answer, given a choice, would be a resounding yes. He could probably get away with it. Just say he didn't feel well. But, then he'd feel guilty all day.

It's wasn't like he did it all the time. In fact, he'd never done it. Which was all the more reason why he could get away with it. Of course, he'd have to listen to Teresa fuss over him all day. That would really depress him, he thought with a smile.

Wonder why people get sad for no reason. Wonder why he felt sad today. Nothing was wrong, no problems to conquer. No reason for it at all. It just ..... was. He sighed again.

With the sadness came an overwhelming lonliness. Another mystery. Hard to be lonely in a house full of people. No, that wasn't true. He'd felt that lonliness too many times over the past year. Uncertain, frightened even, and very lonely. It was a feeling he was used to before. Before his life changed forever. Before he'd felt the warmth that a real family could bring.

For all that, he wondered again. Why?

The sun appeared for a brief moment. He looked out at the small slit of blue in the gray sky and smiled. The rays filtered through the glass and kissed his face with their warmth.

Suddenly, he didn't feel so sad anymore. Didn't feel so lonely. He felt a kind of rejuvenation spreading warmly through him and he was grateful for the reminder.

Grateful for this family and the love they had given him unselfishly and completely. He smiled brightly, deciding it wouldn't be such a bad day after all. Even with the rain.

A knock on the door and his smile widened even more. The knob turned as he faced away from the window. A face so dear to him peeked around the door, lit in a mischievous smile. And he felt peace and calm in his world.

"Gonna sleep all day, Boston? Come on, the days a wastin."

"I'm coming, brother. I'm coming."

 

 

~end~
2004

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